Having spoken to other lesbian and queer friends and acquaintances, we’ve found that our experiences are pretty similar.
Here are 10 roles you may have to play when you’re gay and Mexican.
You’ve stopped referring to your girlfriend as “mi amiga.” They know what’s going on, and you know that they know what’s going on, so she comes over for dinner, you say, “Mom, dad, this is my girlfriend.” They fumble with their words for an uncomfortable amount of time, they forget the mechanics of shaking someone’s hand, have an awkward short exchange, until you step in, cut the night short and save yourself and everyone another minute awkwardness.
You know they won’t mention this or her again until the next uncomfortable encounter.
“She’s butch,” my newly single friend said, as if that explained everything.“Right,” I nodded, because I thought it did.“didn’the.” She spoke as if to a three-year-old, albeit one moonlighting as a psychotherapist.“Right,” I said.
The kind of influence she could wield if she did come out would be massive. In her heyday (the 1920s and ’30s), homosexuality might have been accepted in bohemian circuits, but not necessarily a topic of polite conversation, at least not in any kind of public forum.
Bessie married a man and was, for all intents and purposes, straight to those who paid to see her sing.
It’s been my experience, being a queer who is also a Mexican and member of a family that just barely has its foot out of the closet, that there are ways to navigate through family functions that are borderline ridiculous.
You’re out to lunch with the fam, and somehow your girlfriend is the only one whose invitation has been unintentionally/intentionally withheld, and every once in a while you have to bring her up and that restaurant you went to together, just to remind people that she still exists.
Your mom is sure that her only hope for grandmotherhood is your younger brother, and now you find yourself explaining the ins and outs of sperm donors and adoption, as well as assuring her that your ovaries still work.